Caring Friend

Caring Friend

Dear Youth Ambassadors,
I have a friend who is constantly being made fun of by others, because he looks different. He can get very upset when people call him names. If he really wanted to, he could hurt someone. He told me what he would do to anyone who keeps making fun of him. What should I do to prevent him from doing these bad things?

Sincerely,
Caring Friend


Dear Caring Friend,
You should let him know that many people were and are different. Walt Disney was fired from a newspaper for “lacking imagination” and “having no original ideas.” Guess what? He is one of the most famous people today because of his imagination. So being different isn’t always a bad thing. Most of the time it is a good thing. People talk about how chubby I am and how I don’t have any butt. It’s okay, because I love me just the way I am. Then other people talk about the way I dress. I match, and also wear things that I think ring out my personality. I also wear a lot of pink every day. So looking different should not matter to him. People are going to talk about you no matter what you do. And you have to learn to deal with it. Talking could be a good way of getting it all out. Sometimes even crying works.
Sincerely,
Your Friend


Dear Caring Friend,
He needs to learn to be his own man. He needs to understand people are going to talk about him his whole life. He should not let what people think bother him, because nine times out of ten the people talking about him don’t even have themselves together. Everybody can’t be perfect.
Sincerely,
A Youth Ambassador

Objection

Objection

Dear Youth Ambassadors,
My mom is getting married, and I don’t want her to. It’s because I don’t think he is right for her. He can’t do anything for her or her kids. I don’t think he knows what comes with the pack and all the things that come with my mom. What should I do?

Sincerely,
Objection


Dear Objection,
Seems like you really have your mom’s best interest at heart which is a good thing. But your mom is still old enough to make her own decision. What I think you should do is have a conversation one on one with the adults and then together. The one on one is for you to get a little more in depth with the issues you may have. Together is so all of you can talk and express your emotions, making a stronger bond. Also, you have to understand that your mom is still a woman not just a mom. What this means is that she’ll still have desires to be with a man, because she doesn’t want to be lonely. Even though she has her children, it’s just a different level of love when it comes to having a spouse. Hope this works!

Sincerely,
A Fellow Youth Ambassador

Addicted

Addicted

Dear Youth Ambassadors,
I have a problem. I have a problem with drugs. I used to think that drugs were bad, but now it feels like I can’t go without them. I started with friends, like always. They offered, and I thought it would be fine, but it’s not. I try to act good around my parents, but every time I ask to go out it is to see those friends. I have gotten better, but at times the urge is too strong, and I find those who I call “friend” that got me into this mess.

Sincerely,
Addicted


Dear Addicted,
Everybody has an issue with something they’re addicted to, whether it is food, soda, or drugs. Many people are addicted to different things, so don’t feel alone. Make excuses to not hang out with those friends, and you won’t end up doing that stuff. Say you’re grounded or busy. Once in awhile is better than every day, but then eventually stop. Say your parents are drug testing you.

Sincerely,
A Friend


Dear Addicted,
Everyone is hooked on something. Everyone has an addiction to something. Find something to keep you occupied: your family, games, sports, and start telling those friends you’re grounded or busy and stay away from them until you can tell them “No” to drugs. It’s hard. But I know you can do it.

Sincerely,
The Cutie in the Pink Hoodie

Concerned But Disagree

Concerned But Disagree

Dear Youth Ambassadors,
My brother recently told me a big secret. He wants to be a girl or something. We are not normally super close and always on the same wavelength you know. The issue is I don’t agree with his decision. He is really stressed out and doesn’t have much support. I want to be there for him, but at the same time, I want to knock some sense into him. How should I go about dealing with him?

Sincerely,
Concerned But Disagree


Dear Concerned but Disagree,
It sounds like what your brother needs right now is your support. The good thing is you don’t need to agree with anyone’s decision to be able to support him. I think that you should try to put your own views aside and be there for your brother. “Knocking some sense into him”, will probably do more harm than good, because enough people will be trying to do that already. He knows himself better than anyone, and he needs you as his family member to be his supporter.

Sincerely,
A Friend


Dear Concerned but Disagree,
Being gay is very hard in our society and is a very scary thing. Your brother really loves you, because he feels like he can trust you and thinks you will accept him for who he really is. Your brother has always had a feeling that he liked men. He probably even tried to like girls more to see if he was really into boys. I understand that you don’t agree with it, but still give your brother the respect that he deserves. He is still your brother. He needs support in this, because half of the world already doesn’t accept him for not being them. They figure everyone should just be the same, but it’s not like that anymore. We’re in the 21st century. Things change all the time. You have the choice to adapt with the change or be naive to it.

( P.S. Good Luck and congrats to your brother! )

Sincerely,
Your Friend

Love Memory

Love Memory

Dear Youth Ambassador,
I have a male friend who tells me he loves me and wants to go out with me. I don’t know what I should do or tell him, because my previous boyfriend hurt me to where I cannot trust or believe anyone anymore. YA do you have any ideas? Should I let him have a chance? My mother always told me that boys don’t want anything but one thing, and they will tell you anything you want to hear as truth and get your mind off track from school. I was always told the boys will be here. I barely believe what boys say, because most of the time they are lying and then some of them cheat. That’s why I should wait to get into a relationship. He calls me all day, every day, and gets mad when I don’t answer my phone. And he’s not even my boyfriend. He’s trying to get me to go over to his house and chill, but everybody knows what “chill” means. I’m really not trying to mess with him, but he wants me. I am not trying to be mean to him. So can you please help me out and tell me what I can do and how I should do it?

Sincerely,
Love Memory


Dear Love Memory,
I think you already made your decision on not being with him. To be honest, I feel like that’s a great idea. Seems to me this guy is controlling, because he’s not even your boyfriend and is already getting upset when you don’t answer the phone. Also, another red flag was the word “chill.” Why does a guy always wanna “chill” at his house or ours. Like boy – bye, I have better things to do with my life then “chill.” Go chill with your friends, because as young ladies, we are better than that. If a guy really wants to be with you, you’ll be able to tell. I promise you. Tell your friend that you only wanna stay friends. First it’ll mess up the friendship that you guys have, second you just got out of a relationship. It’s time to take time for yourself.
Write back to tell me how this went!

Sincerely,
Someone Who Gets It

Brick Wall

Brick Wall

Dear Youth Ambassadors,
The last couple of months have been a little crazy and very unusual. I’ve been distant from people, and I no longer have a load of friends. Not that I have any problem with being solo. I was raised to believe that people come and go. The problem I am facing is that I have too much pride. To me, I just don’t care about anything. I stopped talking to a lot of people I was close to. My ex friends have tried-to reach out, but I won’t pay anyone attention, because I feel no need to. I feel as if I wasn’t and am still not wrong for putting my foot down and choosing a different route. Some days I miss hanging out and talking to my friends but won’t crack and most certainly will not kiss anyone’s behind. Although, they are people I care about, I will never show my weakness or even reach out. Pride plays a huge roll in my life. I’ve let people go, because I felt they were no good for me. Plus, if someone really wanted to be my friend, they’d reach out to me. YA what should I do about my ex friends? Should I try to reach out or should I continue to show them I’m just fine with or without them? What would you do if you were in this situation?

Sincerely,
Brick Wall


Dear Brick Wall,
Here’s a little saying for you, “Sometimes you have to shut up, swallow your pride and accept that you’re wrong. It’s not giving up, it’s growing up.” It’s okay to take a break from people, but to live a healthy life you need to surround yourself with people that you love. By talking to people you can develop better social skills and know how to handle people and your emotions when around them. You seem like a stubborn person, and you need to ease up a little bit. If you think your friends are changing, then talk to them first and ask them what’s going on. But you need to listen, understand, then speak. Speak with respect as well.
Good luck and write back!

Sincerely,
Stay Chill Kid

Confused Failure

Confused Failure

Dear Youth Ambassadors,
My life is at a stand still, and I don’t know what to do. School is becoming like a chore to me. It used to be fun, but now it is an endless cycle of people trying to fit in. I was the kid that always wanted to go to college and become someone that my family could look up to. How can they look up to a failure? If I fail, I cannot show my face at any family event without walking with my head down. Ever since I was a little girl, my parents put it in my head that I would be the most successful person in the family. They explained to me that I could do anything that I wanted to do, or be anything I wanted to be. As a kid, I envisioned myself as the richest black woman in the world. I was my generation Oprah, rich, famous, and someone’s idol. So I thought of every plan I could to get rich. Graduating college was the start of my plan. My question to you is very simple to answer, but it’s hard for me to decide. Should I continue to go to school and be the person my family wants me to be? Or should I go to trade school and just be an average woman making it in this world? I want to go to school, but I don’t want to make the wrong decision and possibly fail. If I fail, I could lose a lot of money for my family.

Sincerely,
Confused Failure


Dear Confused Failure,
I can relate to you completely. I have begun to feel the same way about school. It helps me to think about the fact that finishing high school will help me with so much. After that it’s up to you. College is not for everyone, and if you don’t think you should go then don’t. Remember that this is your life – not anyone else’s. You have to decide what’s best for yourself. Just try not to close doors that may lead to a better path.

Sincerely,
Someone Who Gets It