Love Memory

Love Memory

Dear Youth Ambassador,
I have a male friend who tells me he loves me and wants to go out with me. I don’t know what I should do or tell him, because my previous boyfriend hurt me to where I cannot trust or believe anyone anymore. YA do you have any ideas? Should I let him have a chance? My mother always told me that boys don’t want anything but one thing, and they will tell you anything you want to hear as truth and get your mind off track from school. I was always told the boys will be here. I barely believe what boys say, because most of the time they are lying and then some of them cheat. That’s why I should wait to get into a relationship. He calls me all day, every day, and gets mad when I don’t answer my phone. And he’s not even my boyfriend. He’s trying to get me to go over to his house and chill, but everybody knows what “chill” means. I’m really not trying to mess with him, but he wants me. I am not trying to be mean to him. So can you please help me out and tell me what I can do and how I should do it?

Sincerely,
Love Memory


Dear Love Memory,
I think you already made your decision on not being with him. To be honest, I feel like that’s a great idea. Seems to me this guy is controlling, because he’s not even your boyfriend and is already getting upset when you don’t answer the phone. Also, another red flag was the word “chill.” Why does a guy always wanna “chill” at his house or ours. Like boy – bye, I have better things to do with my life then “chill.” Go chill with your friends, because as young ladies, we are better than that. If a guy really wants to be with you, you’ll be able to tell. I promise you. Tell your friend that you only wanna stay friends. First it’ll mess up the friendship that you guys have, second you just got out of a relationship. It’s time to take time for yourself.
Write back to tell me how this went!

Sincerely,
Someone Who Gets It

Brick Wall

Brick Wall

Dear Youth Ambassadors,
The last couple of months have been a little crazy and very unusual. I’ve been distant from people, and I no longer have a load of friends. Not that I have any problem with being solo. I was raised to believe that people come and go. The problem I am facing is that I have too much pride. To me, I just don’t care about anything. I stopped talking to a lot of people I was close to. My ex friends have tried-to reach out, but I won’t pay anyone attention, because I feel no need to. I feel as if I wasn’t and am still not wrong for putting my foot down and choosing a different route. Some days I miss hanging out and talking to my friends but won’t crack and most certainly will not kiss anyone’s behind. Although, they are people I care about, I will never show my weakness or even reach out. Pride plays a huge roll in my life. I’ve let people go, because I felt they were no good for me. Plus, if someone really wanted to be my friend, they’d reach out to me. YA what should I do about my ex friends? Should I try to reach out or should I continue to show them I’m just fine with or without them? What would you do if you were in this situation?

Sincerely,
Brick Wall


Dear Brick Wall,
Here’s a little saying for you, “Sometimes you have to shut up, swallow your pride and accept that you’re wrong. It’s not giving up, it’s growing up.” It’s okay to take a break from people, but to live a healthy life you need to surround yourself with people that you love. By talking to people you can develop better social skills and know how to handle people and your emotions when around them. You seem like a stubborn person, and you need to ease up a little bit. If you think your friends are changing, then talk to them first and ask them what’s going on. But you need to listen, understand, then speak. Speak with respect as well.
Good luck and write back!

Sincerely,
Stay Chill Kid

Confused Failure

Confused Failure

Dear Youth Ambassadors,
My life is at a stand still, and I don’t know what to do. School is becoming like a chore to me. It used to be fun, but now it is an endless cycle of people trying to fit in. I was the kid that always wanted to go to college and become someone that my family could look up to. How can they look up to a failure? If I fail, I cannot show my face at any family event without walking with my head down. Ever since I was a little girl, my parents put it in my head that I would be the most successful person in the family. They explained to me that I could do anything that I wanted to do, or be anything I wanted to be. As a kid, I envisioned myself as the richest black woman in the world. I was my generation Oprah, rich, famous, and someone’s idol. So I thought of every plan I could to get rich. Graduating college was the start of my plan. My question to you is very simple to answer, but it’s hard for me to decide. Should I continue to go to school and be the person my family wants me to be? Or should I go to trade school and just be an average woman making it in this world? I want to go to school, but I don’t want to make the wrong decision and possibly fail. If I fail, I could lose a lot of money for my family.

Sincerely,
Confused Failure


Dear Confused Failure,
I can relate to you completely. I have begun to feel the same way about school. It helps me to think about the fact that finishing high school will help me with so much. After that it’s up to you. College is not for everyone, and if you don’t think you should go then don’t. Remember that this is your life – not anyone else’s. You have to decide what’s best for yourself. Just try not to close doors that may lead to a better path.

Sincerely,
Someone Who Gets It

Everyone in My Family is Shady

Everyone in My Family is Shady

Dear Youth Ambassador,
Everyone in my family is shady. They are all lying to me. They have all told me that they hate me. None of them have given me a reason why. They act ignorantly. Sometimes I sit there and think, “What did I do to them?” They all want my respect, but none of them offer me respect. I sit there and think, “I need to get out of here,” because I can’t keep doing this. My sperm donor told me one time that the reason he wasn’t and isn’t around is because I am not important to him. The day he told me that I felt very bitter. I often wonder, “Why do they hate me?” I was abused for years by people who thought it was funny. I cry sometimes for days, but I never let the tears show. How can I stay strong?

Sincerely,
Shady


Dear Shady,
I know how it feels. I have had the same problems sometimes. I’ve had rough phases as well. Just listen to music and be in your own little world. I’m here for you because that’s some real bull. You can ask Paige to meet me if it’s cool with you.
Sincerely,
A Youth Ambassador


Dear Shady,
What I think you should do is make a move and talk to your family about these things. And your sperm donor has no right what so ever to be saying, that to you. I can tell that you are a very good person who just wants the attention you deserve from your family. So that’s what I think you should do. Don’t give up keep trying, cause at one point in my life I had the same problem. The key to a healthy relationship is communication.
Sincerely,
Your Friend


Dear Shady,
I totally understand what your going through. My family doesn’t appreciate anything I do either. It is crazy how family wants respect but are the main people who don’t give respect. I always want to leave the house, because I just sleep and sit in my room all day. It is going to be hard to stay strong but the best I can tell you is get some friends that you really trust. Family doesn’t have to be who you live with. People say blood is thicker than water but they never say which one tastes better. Find the water in your life and make them family.
Sincerely,
Brother From Another Mother

Bullying Sucks

Bullying Sucks

Dear Youth Ambassadors,
I heard some people plotting something against someone. I don’t like that person, but what the people are plotting to do is very mean, and something I wouldn’t do. This person is mean to me and those I hang out with, but the people are taking it to a different level. Should I stop them or tell the person?

Sincerely,
Bullying Sucks


Dear Bullying Sucks,
You should always do the right thing. If somebody plots something against someone, and you know they don’t deserve it, then help them or give them a heads-up. Don’t put that person in harm’s way.
Sincerely,
A Friend


Dear Bullying Sucks,
Absolutely yes, you should stop them and let them know that getting revenge is not a great idea. Tell them to talk to someone, so there won’t be a huge conflict. Also, sometimes you just need to learn how to ignore people. It’s going to be hard, but if you know what’s true about you, you shouldn’t care.
Sincerely,
I’ve Been Bullied

Don’t Know How to Help

Don’t Know How to Help

Dear Youth Ambassadors,
My best friend is doing drugs, smoking and drinking. My friend is trying to get me to use drugs, and I refuse. I try to get my friend to stop, but my friend won’t listen and is starting to act violent. I need help. What should I do?

Sincerely,
Don’t Know How to Help


Dear Don’t Know How to Help,
Honestly, a real friend wouldn’t do things like pressuring you into doing drugs. You probably feel like you know them, and they can improve, and that might be true…but it can start with you. If you continue to be friends with someone who is pressuring you to do things, you might actually get fed up and do it. I think you should be completely honest with them and tell them that you cannot see them go down the path they are going, because you care, and then just step back. Don’t judge them nor ditch them but step back, save yourself first…and pray.
Sincerely,
Fellow Youth Ambassador


Dear Don’t Know How to Help
Peer pressure is something else, isn’t it? Well, I would say keep saying “no” to your friend. If he or she is your true friend, he will begin the process of quitting, because he sees you not starting. Don’t stress him out about drugs. Soon he’ll realize that he’s damaging himself and wants to quit. Keep being a good role model and friend and continue to say no to his bad habits.
Sincerely,
A Friend Who Cares


Dear Don’t Know How to Help,
First I would like to give you a thumbs up for refusing to participate in bad choices and substance abuse. This is a tough thing to consider, because this is your best friend. I feel that if he was really your ‘best friend” he wouldn’t pressure you to do things that would hurt you.Your friend needs HELP. Try helping him without getting him in trouble with his parents. Your friend is starting to act violent you say. Is he acting violent towards you? You shouldn’t put up with this, because you sound like a good person. I think you should remain being friends, because that’s what he really needs right now – a friend. He probably feels alone, and that’s why he is using substances. Just ask an older but advice-giving person for medical and therapy help, like a counselor or favorite teacher. Stay strong and firm in your decision to not participate in these activities. If your best friend is doing these things and doesn’t respect your say in the situation then you’ll have to step back and let him face the consequences of his actions. Even though it’ll be hard to do, you have to face that it’s his body, and he’ll do whatever he wants.
Sincerely,
Your Friend

Missing My Cousin

Missing My Cousin

Dear Youth Ambassadors,
I recently had a cousin who passed away. We were very close. She was like a sister to me. She has been gone for 4 months, and it still doesn’t feel real. Her birthday is coming up. My family is going to visit her grave-site, but I’m not sure if I want to go. I don’t think I would be able to handle it, but at the end of the day, she still is my family, and you’re supposed to be there regardless. So I just need help making the decision to go or not to go.

Sincerely,
Missing My Cousin


Dear Missing My Cousin,
I also had a cousin who passed away. It’s been a year since she died. I feel your pain. I am so sorry for your loss. If you are afraid of breaking down, don’t be. It’s okay to cry. Most of all, it’s important to be there for her birthday. She’s in a better place, and she probably just wants you to be happy. Go to her grave and be with her. Wish her peace and happiness in heaven.

Sincerely,
A Friend


Dear Missing My Cousin,
I also lost a cousin about a year ago. We lived right next door to each other. She was older than me, so I would go to her for advice. Even though it can be hard to find closure, I think that you should visit her grave. I have a feeling that it would make her feel happy. I’m sure she would have done the same for you.

Sincerely,
Youth Ambassadors


Dear Missing My Cousin,
I’m sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine what you’re going through. I’ve lost family members that I barely knew, but I know that if I lost someone that I am close with I would at least want closure. It’s completely up to you if you want to go, but I think it would do you some good. I’m sure your cousin would want you to be happy and to live your life. So take as much time as you need to grieve. Being happy doesn’t mean you need to forget about her. Just take it one day at a time.

Sincerely,
You’ve Got A Friend