Should I Be Pissed Off or Cry?

Should I Be Pissed Off or Cry?

Dear Youth Ambassadors,

Yesterday I basically lost my father.  He’s not dead, but he went to prison for 10 years.  It’s basically the same as being dead.  I spent all day crying and didn’t eat anything.  I really don’t know what to do.  He’s been in jail before but never for this long.  I never thought he’d serve 10 years!  It’s really killing me, because he is going to miss most of my life.  He won’t get the opportunity to see me walk the stage at graduation.  When I think about it, I don’t know if I should be pissed off or cry.  I know I have to stay strong, but how can I keep my sanity?

Sincerely,

Should I Be Pissed Off or Cry?


Dear Should I Be Pissed Off or Cry,

In some way I guess I can relate to you.  My eldest brother is in jail, and his time continuously gets pushed for a longer time.  My own father isn’t in jail, but he is barely around.  I talk to him, but I don’t see him a lot.  The best advice I will give you is this:  Keep living your life.  You can’t put your life on hold for your father’s mistakes.  Don’t forget about your dad, but he wouldn’t want you crying and hurting the way you are.  He would want you living your life happily.

Sincerely,

Your Neighbor, Classmate and Friend


Dear Should I Be Pissed Off or Cry,

Aw, I know how you feel. A lot of people in my family are dying. If you have a favorite person in your family you should talk to them. If you are in a relationship, find closure from them.

Sincerely,

The Dude in the Cool Blue Shoes


Dear Should I Be Pissed Off or Cry,

I think you should send him letters and send him pictures of you and send him a picture of you from your graduation.  That’s what I would do.  I have a 12-year-old cousin who really didn’t see her father when she was little, because he was in jail all the time, and she cried, cried, and cried.  But my sister and I were there for her.  We kept her writing letters to him, and he wrote letters.  They sent pictures back and forth.  I wouldn’t be pissed off.  Yes, I would cry but just send letters to him and send pictures, and he will do the same back to you.

Sincerely,

Your Youth Ambassadors Friend


Dear Should I Be Pissed Off or Cry,

To keep my sanity I always use one method that works for everything. FIND COMFORT. You must find comfort in everything you do. I’M EXTREMELY claustrophobic. But the way I get over it is to slow down, breathe slowly, relax my muscles, and find comfort. In your situation, slow down, take a deep breath, remember everything will be okay, and find comfort. Meaning keep your life moving. Adjust.

Sincerely,

Your Friend

Worried About Home

Worried About Home

Dear Youth Ambassadors,

One thing that I hate is dealing with my pops when he comes home drunk.  He yells at me and my brothers and tries to start arguments with them.  They have a big commotion.  Sometimes my mom tells me that she wants a divorce.  The only reason she hasn’t divorced him yet is because my brothers and I asked where we would live if she got one.  My mom doesn’t have any family in Kansas City, Missouri so we would have to move to Saint Louis.  I don’t want them to split up because I love both of them so much.  How do I handle this?

Sincerely,

Worried About Home


Dear Worried About Home,

I think you should express to both of your parents how you feel. Tell your dad how he makes you feel when he drinks. Tell your mom that you don’t want to move.  Maybe you should volunteer your parents to talk to someone. Maybe you should talk to someone.  Whatever you do, make sure you are in a safe environment when you do it.

Much Love,

Your Youth Ambassador Friend

Can’t Cope

Can’t Cope

Dear Youth Ambassadors,

You don’t know me, but here’s your chance to at least try and get to know me.  A problem I have been struggling with is finding closure.  My mom was killed in 2001, and my dad killed himself in 1999 on his birthday.  How should I cope with this situation, and what are some things I should/can do to not be so angry at times?

Sincerely,

Can’t Cope


Dear Can’t Cope,

This letter/vignette is hard to answer.  I am not going to lie to you – just the truth. Empathy and sympathy is what I feel for you right now.  My mom is on drugs, and I don’t see her at all.  Some days I cry and just wanna sleep all day long.  But I have never felt the agony that you go through.  What I think you should do to cope is think about the good things that you guys had.  Also talk to her.  Even though she’s not here physically, she is still here spiritually.  Lastly, work hard getting money.  Let your mom be your motivation.  And for your dad, the same thing goes.  But you have to live your life and enjoy. Stop being angry, because your mom is not gonna like it.  Find closure.  Be happy.  Get knowledge.

Sincerely,

Your Sympathetic Friend


Dear Can’t Cope,

I think the best thing to do is pray. I have found that when you pray about things to God it makes you feel much better. I’m not saying the pain will go away. It will take some time, but you have to believe that God will fix your broken heart. Also, try and go visit their graves every once in a while and talk to them. It might be weird to talk to somebody that is dead, but it can be a place where you let everything out.

Sincerely,

Your Youth Ambassador Friend